The wonderful stupidity of Mini Habits

I have debated about how to talk about Mini Habits. I don’t want to sound like a conversion-minded zealot, in the vein of proselytizing for veganism or CrossFit (a friend drew those comparisons, which cracked me up). This is going to be much much smaller in terms of life asks. And, it may be more effective and long-lasting. Uh oh, I’m sounding like an infomercial now. Okay, why not lean into it…

Act Now! Or Later!

[start cheezy announcer voice]

Do you have some unfulfilled goal or desire in your life?
Do you want RESULTS???
Think small!
Not just small… think stupidly small!
That’s MINI HABITS!!!!!

[end cheezy announcer voice]

Here’s how you can try it

1. Identify something you want to do, concrete or abstract. As an example let’s say “I want to read more”
2. Create a stupidly small daily goal. It must be laughably easy to accomplish, and you must commit to doing it every day. e.g. “Read 1 page a day”
3. Do the tiny thing, every day.

Why do Mini Habits work?

Before on most days I would read zero pages. Now, I am reading 1 page every day. Except, on many days I end up reading more than 1 page. Before I would not bother sitting down to read at all. Now I have a goal, and it is so small that my Resistance doesn’t kick in. I just do it. And once I am doing it I often keep going.

More examples

Reading was actually a real example for me (if that wasn’t obvious). Here are some more:

• Meditate for 1 minute
• Sit at drumset for 1 minute
• Juggle for 1 minute
• Tie a knot
• Give 1 compliment
• Practice ASL for 1 minute or fingerspell one thing
• Sight-read 1 musical note

If I do all those things for the minimum it is less than 10 minutes out of my day to get eight positive things into my life.

What I’ve learned

I have been practicing this for a few months now. The honeymoon of the new has worn off. I’ve missed plenty of days and have some further tips based on experience.

Pick enjoyable things that otherwise just don’t happen

Juggling is one for me. ASL is another. So is drumming. I enjoy the action of doing them and don’t need a bigger goal.

Have a long-term goal

Maybe the tiny thing needs to be part of a bigger-picture goal. It is building toward something. I am working on what this might be for myself. It could be “I want to attain my next kung fu sash” and my Mini Goal is “practice 1 kung fu thing”.

Find a “home” for the mini-task in your daily routine

This will help it become a real habit. I starting reading my 1 page while I eat breakfast. Now it is a habit, the two things are linked in my mind. Much better than my old breakfast habit of looking at the same old stuff on my phone. Side note: my day seems to start better when I do this, which further reinforces the habit.

Make it stuuuuupidly small

I told my dad about my “sit at drumset for 1 minute” habit and he offered that I could “make it even better” by changing it to “PLAY drumset for 1 minute.” NO! That is not stupidly small enough! I might think “I don’t really want to play the drums”. The trick is to get myself to sit down. I don’t think I’ve ever sat at my drums and not played them. But plenty of times I have not sat down in the first place because I tricked myself into thinking “I don’t want to play the drums right now”. So it is “sit at drumset for 1 minute.”

Maybe the “read 1 page a day” could be “read 1 paragraph a day” or “read 1 sentence a day”. The point is to open a book. If that isn't happening, maybe the Mini Habit needs to be mini-er.

Know yourself

I like to make lists. I get a little charge out of checking things off. So I keep a Reminders list of my Mini Habits. It is both a reminder and a motivator. You probably can think of your own little tricks to get yourself to do the things that will incrementally add satisfaction.

Embrace repetition

One of mine is “tie a knot”. It doesn’t matter if it is the same exact knot every day. I would love to be able to tie, say, a tautline hitch as easily as I tie my shoes (without even needing to look). It totally counts as a “did” if I tie the same old tautline hitch in about 10 seconds. Check. Insisting on novelty is a good way to derail the endeavor.

Falling is learning

I miss days for various reasons. If I miss repeatedly this gives me an opportunity to consider my purpose and whether I’m setting myself up for success. Do I really want to do this thing? Do I have a specific time/trigger for the activity? Do I need to make this habit even more mini?

It’s just a tiny thing

This is not a major life change. Just try one thing. It can be anything. I’m sure there are applications far away from my examples. Get creative and enjoy the feeling of doing something you really value.

Try it yourself!

ps — I used a Mini Habit to publish this, my first blog post in nine months. See, it works.

pps — there is a book called Mini Habits, where this idea came from. I haven’t read the book — remember that reading was something I wasn’t doing? — but I did skim several detailed reviews/synopses that gave me the gist. See, smaller can be a good thing.

ppps — I learned about Mini Habits because a player for the NFL’s Detroit Lions mentioned it. See, sports can be educational.

Why testimonials are so important, and how to ask for them

What are the absolute minimum content needs for a service-based business’s marketing website?

I suggest they are only three things:

1. a compelling and short introductory statement (what, for who, etcetera)

2. contact information

3. testimonials

The first two are hopefully self-explanatory. Let’s dive into why the third one (testimonials) is essential.

Testimonials can be everything a person needs to know

A well-curated set of testimonials can tell the entire story of your business.

• what kind of clients you have (industries, personalities)

• what you do for them (services)

• how you work (relationships, project management)

• the results of your work (benefits)

• how you are different/better than competitors (about)

• who you are as a person/company (about)

Social proof

Best of all, these details are not coming from the business owner, but from real clients. Sure, we all know that testimonials can be faked, only the favorable ones will be published, etcetera. I still maintain that testimonials have a “social proof” air about them that marketing copy can never match. I cringe a little at the term “authentic” nowadays, but it is an apt descriptor. This concept can be reinforced by using an image of each client and a link to their website or LinkedIn profile.

Testimonials are a service, not bragging

You are in a service business, and you can’t professionally help people unless you have clients. Clients need to know that you are worth hiring. Testimonials enable potential clients to hear from your past/current clients about what it is like to work with you. They are a way for people to understand how you can help them with your skills. Think of it as providing a service to these people before they are even a paying client, for free! Really, it’s an act of benevolence. Beyond food, clothing, and shelter, helping people is why you have a service-based business in the first place, right?

Editing testimonials, or not

Can a testimonial be edited? I say Yes. The obvious important thing is to preserve the writer’s message, voice, and word choices as much as practical. Yet is is just as important to make sure to deliver text that will be helpful to the viewer. In other words: it will be short enough to be approachable, clear enough to be understood, and compelling enough to inspire positive thoughts and action. Therefore I think it is okay, even preferable, to edit down and rearrange testimonial text while maintaining the writer’s hand.

Can a testimonial be embellished or ghost-written? I say No. Those feel wrong to me.

When testimonials go bad

Words matter, and some testimonials are useless or actually harmful. If a testimonial is vacuous, insipid, pandering, jargon-y, or vague then leave it out. People can say nice things without really being helpful to you or your potential clients. If you get a testimonial back that is not specific, ask for specifics. Use the “how to ask” keys below to help ensure you get good testimonials.

A few testimonial tests:

• does it make you feel “aw, shucks”? (it should)

• could it fit on someone else’s website, verbatim? (it shouldn’t)

• does it get specific about benefits, services, relationship, etcetera (it should)

• does it prop you up, by name? (it should)

• does it push anyone else down, by name? (it shouldn’t)

If a testimonial fails any of those tests, edit lightly or try to get a re-write from the client if they are willing. Failing that, it might be better to omit it.

Beware celebrity status

It may be that you have a client who has name/face value to your potential clients, and it would seem that any testimonial from them would be worth sharing. Maybe it is not the person themselves, but the name value of the company they work for. I suggest that you still make sure the testimonial passes the above tests and edit/re-ask/omit appropriately.

How I ask for a (good) testimonial

Feel free to use this approach and adapt it to your style.

My keys are:

1. Get right with your intention: testimonials are a way to help others, and I am testimonial-worthy.

2. Send the testimonial request in two parts: 1) the small ask, and 2) the details.

3. Keep the small ask very, very short.

4. Keep the details very, very loose. Enough guidance to point them in the right direction. Not so much that they feel put on rails or suffocated.

In my experience many people react positively when asked for a testimonial. Most of the time they even follow-through, eventually.

Ask with confidence!

Following up, or not

After I send the details email I typically do NOT follow up to inquire “where is that testimonial you said you’d write?”. Sometimes I never end up getting a testimonial from that person, and that is okay with me. No need to force it.

Images and titles

I think that adding a portrait of each testifier is a huge boost. It puts a face to the text, makes it feel more “real”, and adds life to your website.

An easy way to do this is to look for the client’s LinkedIn profile. I typically use this image without pre-asking, because the client already “approved” it when they posted it to LinkedIn (and I ask for a secondary approval later, see below). I also will grab the client’s self-selected “job title” from LinkedIn as well. Always run the final presentation by the client!

Publish, notify, and prosper

Once I publish the testimonial on my site I send a link (so they can see it and request any edits… which no one ever has) and say thanks! It’s a nice way to close the loop, remind people you exist, and let people see themselves in a tiny bit of promotion on the interwebs.

I hope this has been helpful!

May your testimonials be plentiful, lively, and specific!

My request templates

Here are the templates I start with and adjust for the recipient and my whims of the day. Please adapt them to your own style and voice.

Remember the keys listed above!

1. The Small Ask

subject: can you help me out with a testimonial?

I’m so happy with our collaboration and would love for you to offer a brief and informal testimonial about it.

Testimonials are a BIG way you can help me help others like you.

If yes (I hope it’s a Yes!) I’ll send you some quick guidelines to make it easy for you.

Can you help me out with this?

2. The Details

subject: [reply] can you help me out with a testimonial?

Thank you for helping!

Feel free to ignore these tips and do whatever you want.

If you’re unsure about how or what to write in a testimonial here are some suggestions:

• Write right now! I know you are busy, so sending this back immediately would be a to-do check-off! Seriously, just crank it out.

• Don’t think too much, just write what feels true. Passion over polish. As much or as little as you want.

• Use your own voice. Imagine a real conversation with words you use casually.

• It’s a party. Imagine an inner-circle friend-colleague asks you: “what was it like to work with Kirk?” or “how did he help you?” or “what has been the result?” What would you say?

• Make a case. Pretend you need to go back in time to convince yourself to work with me and you only have 20 seconds to do it. What would you say?

You can check out my Testimonials page for what other people did if you feel stuck: https://kirkroberts.com/testimonials

Thank you!

I buy, therefore I am

Disclaimers: at the time of sharing this we are still in the midst of a global pandemic. Nothing here is meant to minimize the serious situation our species faces or the dramatic effects it has had on many lives. The title is a misremembering of Barbara Kruger’s “I shop therefore I am”.

I started writing this in May 2020, two months after Covid became real for most of the U.S. and 10 months before I’m writing this sentence now. At the time I had been reflecting on my buying habits, because I’d purposefully been doing less of it (less buying, more reflecting). We started “sheltering at home” (except for grocery store excursions) early on and I made a personal decision to also severely cut back on non-essential purchases.

The Seed

Years ago I read “Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping” by Judith Levine, just for fun. Then, years later, I read it again (for even more fun!). Both times, the book came from the public library, naturally. It was an experiment I wanted to toy with sometime, if not fully take on.

I have long been a reductionist and frugal. It serves me well in my work, but it does sometimes cause a bit of tension at home. With sheltering happening the time felt right to try the not-buying experiment.

The Result

Now I can tell you: not buying things for an extended period of time feels weeeeeird. It was palpable, uncomfortable yet very welcome. For the first time in… ever?… our family credit card bill was a single page of transactions.

I started to wonder: why is not-buying uncomfortable? Do I miss the little endorphin hits of walking out of the store with a new shiny, or hitting that buy button and receiving a package with my name on it? Is it the breaking of a habit?

All That Remains

Over the past year we’ve barely scratched the surface of using all the stuff that has collected in our house over many years. We have books, puzzles, board games (a LOT of board games), musical instruments, arts & crafts supplies, electronic equipment, sporting goods, and more that isn’t coming to mind at the moment… most of it virtually untouched despite our being at home 24/7 for all this time. We have more “free” time than ever before, and a lot of that stuff is still collecting dust. I feel like a lot of it could go away and we’d never really miss it. At least not enough to really want it back. We’d just move on to something else.

I love the idea that we don’t need to buy to feel good and have fulfilling lives. The only problem is that buying has become second nature and there are withdrawal symptoms when it goes away. We work, we buy. We deserve it. Other people have stuff, we should too. I’m bored or feel bad about something, time to make a purchase.

Most Recently

So far in 2021 I’ve really loosened up on the purposeful buying restrictions. It feels liberating but also feels like a slippery slope. My new underwear is an absolute life improvement, but how much does that new board game really add to my contentedness? I like buying presents for my kids’ birthdays, but how much is enough?

Speaking of the recent birthdays I did buy something I had long ago owned and donated away: the book “The art of looking sideways” by Alan Fletcher. I’ve sold, donated, recycled, and trashed hundreds if not thousands of items over the years. This is the first thing I can remember actually re-acquiring. Everything else had served its purpose. Some of it maybe never needed to be acquired in the first place.

Begin Again

Now I find myself again speaking in the language of products, making recommendations about material things I have enjoyed (in a way I did this in the preceding paragraph). I spend, I consume, I am. This is starting to feel like a confessional. Maybe it is time for another “no buy” experiment and I can report back in March 2022.

Try “not buying” for yourself, if only for a little while. See how weird it feels for you. Maybe you’ll get something out of it.

Conspiracy Santa: the Anti-Grinch

I admit it: I am a Grinch.

Or rather, I *was* until the concept of Conspiracy Santa saved Christmas for me.

How Conspiracy Santa Works

1. get a group of people who will participate

2. establish the ground rules of what a gift can be (budget, theme, timing, whatever)

3. assign each person a giftee within the group, Secret Santa style

4. start an email thread for EACH person, CCing everyone in the group EXCEPT for the person whom the thread is about (e.g. a group with 8 people will have 8 separate email threads)

5. discuss on the threads what each giftee likes and dislikes, blue sky ideas, potential gifts, specific links, etc

6. close the discussion/voting and each person gets a gift for their giftee

7. eagerly anticipate when everyone will get their gift

We did this last year for the eight geographically-dispersed adults in my original family (including spouses) and it was so good we’re doing it again this year.

My Grinchiness: a Retrospective

I’ll tell you what I didn’t like about gift-giving before (that I admit are MY issues, not issues with gift-giving overall):

• isolation and pressure: it felt like it was up to me to figure out what to get for each person

• feeling cheap: I didn’t think I had enough money to work with, especially compared to others’ means (comparison is the thief of happiness)

• feeling unsure: I dislike clutter and didn’t want to give clutter, could I really think of a good idea for everyone?

• as a general rule, I hate gift cards (which could be another post in itself)

• volume: does everybody really need a gift from everyone? Seeing so many presents felt depressing for the consumption of it all.

Previous to Conspiracy Santa, I just felt unhappy leading up to the “big day” and even unhappier on the day itself. Yep, total Grinch.

The Anti-Grinch Solution

Conspiracy Santa neatly solves all of those issues by creating contained “communities” in the email threads where we can discuss and get excited about ideas for each giftee. We use a soft budget that is much higher than I would have spent on any one person if gifting traditionally.

We are in cahoots! I can contribute thoughts about gifts for everyone but the pressure isn’t on me to be the one to decide, we all do that together. Ideas can build and evolve: “I never would have thought of THAT idea, but now that I hear it what about if we…” The spirit of collaboration is strong and I love it.

Each person gets one gift from the group (the gifts are to be marked as from Conspiracy Santa, and part of the fun is trying to keep the associations secret). Volume is reduced and quality is enhanced.

This new tradition has brought the season a lot of joy for me, where previously there was apprehension and crankiness. Grinch begone!

Origin & Tips

The Conspiracy Santa idea comes from this blog post: https://zapier.com/blog/conspiracy-santa/

The email thread starting service is unfortunately not working anymore, so this year I had someone else start my thread (I sent them the boilerplate email for forwarding) and started all the other threads myself.

Any group is going to need a prime mover who will kick things off and nurture any threads that may be languishing. It feels helpful to add ideas, no matter how off-the-wall, rather than just prompt people over and over. You know, light a candle rather than curse the darkness.

We are using https://www.drawnames.com/ for the name draw. Tip on that: set up exclusions so people don’t draw the people they are most familiar with (e.g. spouses). Learned from last year’s experience!

Love

Conspiracy Santa is so good. It makes my heart grow three sizes. I can’t recommend it highly enough.

A happy merry season to you and yours, whatever holidays you celebrate and however you gift (if at all)!

The New (and Relieving) Rules for Secure Internet Passwords

A recent Wall Street Journal article starts “The man who wrote the book on password management has a confession to make: He blew it.”

That article is behind a pay wall, so I’m going to summarize it for you.

The new rules say you don’t need to use special characters, mixed cases, numbers, and all that to create a secure password (unless of course the website forces you to, which is another unfortunate issue). That old advice just led to short passwords that were hard for humans to remember but easy for hackers to guess or discover through brute force. Pa$$w0rd1 anyone? Oops, it’s been 90 days, time to change it to Pa$$w0rd2. Again. You get the idea.

Instead, use a series of memorable but seemingly unconnected words in one long string, because more characters is better. Lots better. There is even an internet-famous comic about it: correcthorsebatterystaple

That’s the WSJ article in a nutshell.

BUT

Of course there is a but. Also consider that avoiding password commonality is also very important. So don’t go around using “correcthorsebatterystaple” or “thisismypasswordsucka” or anything else that might be used by many other people.

Make sure to string together four or five otherwise unconnected words that you can remember but aren’t likely to be commonly used in passwords.

Unfortunately, chances are good you’re going to be pretty bad at that.

The Best Thing You Can Do

For the love of all that is good — and as referenced in the password commonality article — stop making up your own passwords. Instead, use a password manager such as 1Password (I use it), LastPass, or similar. You make one super-good password that you can remember and let the manager come up with ridiculously long and complex randomized passwords for you.

Fifty random characters including mixed cases and as many numbers and specials as I want? And I don’t have to remember it? Yum!

You get fast at entering your one long but memorable password when necessary, and the manager remembers and fills in your ridiculously long random password per-site. You can also store credit cards and other personal info in there for easily filling out forms or just as a vault for social security numbers, etc, etc.

And now you can turn off and purge your browser auto-fill. I’m pretty sure you don't want someone who just took your laptop to auto-waltz into your bank website or whatever. Let the password manager auto-fill those login credentials after you've entered your master password for an extra level of security.

Concerns

Theoretically someone could hack your password manager. I don’t know, I trust a company whose sole reason for being is security more than I trust my ability to repetitively create and store secure passwords. I trust it more than sticky notes or that sheet of paper in the desk drawer. If I can’t access a website when I’m on another computer or device (which is rare) I can use the “forgot password” feature that every site has. It feels like an obvious choice to me now, even if at first it was a little scary to make the leap. And, yes, it costs money.

So, there you go. Go forth and be ever more secure on the big, bad internet.

You, Me, and Data Backup

One day I innocently started my computer and got a gray screen. No icons, nothing but gray. In the end it turned out my hard drive had completely fried (not sure why).

Do you have a back-up plan for your data? Here’s how I back up my stuff three ways:

I have Super Duper clone my entire hard-drive to a bootable copy on an external hard-drive.

The cloning automatically runs once a day (you can schedule it as often as you like). The keys here are “automatic” and “bootable”. So in this case I was able to connect the external hard drive to another computer, boot from it, and be working in almost no time flat with an exact duplicate of my computer from less than 24 hours ago. Super Duper

Time Machine. Duh.

If you’re on a Mac and NOT using Time Machine, it’s time to start. Buy a separate external hard-drive for this, set it up, and Time Machine will keep versions of your files every hour. In this case I was able to grab files that were modified since my last Super Duper clone. Note that Time Machine does NOT create a bootable copy of your drive. The hard drive you use should be at least 1.5x the size of your computer’s hard drive.

Dropbox: continuous backup.

I also pay for a Dropbox plan for client-collaborator usage and have the space to backup a lot of project files there using something called Symbolic Links. Dropbox runs anytime a file/folder that it is “watching” gets modified, so backup is essentially continuous. When I re-connected my cloned Super Duper copy to Dropbox it downloaded a bunch of files that had been updated since then and labeled them “conflicted copy”. So as needed I could make the call on which file to keep.

Having this plan in place made the day my hard drive died merely inconvenient. I suggest you put your own plan into place as soon as possible. As “they” say: hard drive failure is not a question of “if” but “when”. A modest financial and time investment now can give you great peace-of-mind and save your bacon when your number is called. Don’t wait.

Epilogue

My hard drive was under warranty and I’m already working on a free replacement. While it was kind of nerdy fun to swap out the drives in my laptop a couple of times, I’m hoping this one lasts for the life of the computer. If it doesn’t at least I know my data is backed up three ways.

The War of Art: Beat Resistance and be a Pro

As a creative professional and liver of life, absorbing The War of Art was a transformative experience for me. I highly recommend you check it out.

The book is focused on creative pursuits, with particular focus on writing (since the author is a writer, that makes sense :-), but taken abstractly the concepts can apply to anyone. After all, I sincerely hope you view your life as a creative endeavor, no matter how you choose to spend your time! Chances are along the way you’ve met Resistance, and that’s exactly what the book challenges head-on.

It’s full of insightful and practical tidbits (even if it can be a little heavy on the sports/golf analogies and the third section gets a bit metaphysical). The definitions of what a Professional is and does have helped affirm and shape my choices in business and life.

On top of all that, it’s a short book with lots and lots of white space — a quick read that could make a long-lasting impression.

Author’s website: The War of Art by Steven Pressfield