How to Playfully Open Gifts

“It’s the thought that counts.”

Ugh. When you hear, think, or say that, it’s probably to help someone feel better about a misguided gift.

And yet, it’s always true: the thought really is important and worth celebrating. How can we emphasize and live into that idea?

Let’s imagine…

You’re offered a wrapped present (or even an enveloped card). What do you do? Open it right away? No!

First, thank the giver. Profusely! Yes, before you open it. You might even hug or shake hands or high five, whatever feels right. This is the moment when you don’t know what the gift is. This is the moment when “the gift” is that this person thought of you and took the time to act. Don’t rush through this moment. Savor it, live in it, and show appreciation right now. Be energetically thankful.

Now do you open it? No!

Notice details about the wrapping and share a sincerely positive comment, compliment, or question.

Use all your senses. Look at it. Turn it over this way and that. Examine it. Shake it and listen. Put it down on the table. Pick it back up. Weigh it in your hands. Smell it. Lick it. Seriously, taste the outside of it.

Offer some outlandish guesses as to the contents, that may or may not have anything to do with your observations. DON’T guess anything that might actually be inside, or anything that you actually want it to be. You don’t want to upstage the actual gift. DO guess things that are impossible, useless, undesirable, and/or incredibly boring. Help make the gift inside seem even better by comparison. See below for some ideas.**

Thank the giver for letting you have fun with it. And again because it’s so nice to receive a gift.

Now do you open it? YES!

But wait! You have a choice: HOW do you open it? Quickly and wildly? With a flourish? Slowly with extra drama? How many times do you pause in the middle to add to the anticipation? It’s up to you: realize you’re making choices here.

When the actual gift is about to be revealed close your eyes tightly like it’s too brilliant to look at. Hand it back to the giver and tell them you can’t look and you need them to tell you what it is. Or you want them to read the card aloud (it’s their words, after all). This gets them actively involved and they can add their warmth and enthusiasm. Plus this helps avoid any potential awkward not understanding what it is.

Focus on the thought: find the story behind the gift. You don’t have to love whatever has been revealed. Just stay positive and ask about how and why they chose that for you. Of course, tone of voice is important here! There is always some kind of story behind it, even if it’s a short and seemingly uninteresting story. Mine that story for gold and focus on the positive.

Finally, thank them again. If you can, try to make physical contact in whatever way is appropriate to your relationship and the moment. Hug. Shake hands. High five. Let your personal bubbles intersect. If touching feels awkward, ask to get permission first. I like a simple "can we hug?"

Do not skip this last step! Make the personal connection and bring the experience back to the thought behind the gift.

Because, you know what they say…

p.s. — Write a thank you note or make a special thank you call with details about why you appreciate the gift. You both deserve it.

p.p.s. — For another take on gift-exchanges see Reverse Gifting.

** Sample gift guesses:

• “Is it a baby rhinoceros?”
• “Is it a solar-powered flashlight?”
• “Is it a gift certificate to that restaurant that went out of business last year?”
• “Is it a handful of dirt?”
• “Is it a video of paint drying?”
• “Is it a life of crime?”
• “Is it a potato?”
• “Is it an ethically-sourced unicorn horn?”
• “Is it a lock of your hair?”
• “Is it a key to your secret underground laboratory?”
• “Is it the original Declaration of Independence?”
• “Is it a jar of sewage?”
• “Is it nothing?”
• “Is it an invisible hula hoop?”
• “Is it a pocket-sized microwave?”
• “Is it a roll of toilet paper?”
• “Is it one hundred rolls of toilet paper?”
• “Is it one million rolls of toilet paper?”
• “Seriously, how many rolls of toilet paper are in here?”